To be rested we must rest.
But there’s more to it than that. To be rested we must also notice what happens AFTER we rest. Because no matter how much we rest, if we’re expending more energy than we gather, we’re going to be depleted.
The solution isn’t to hoard energy. We don’t want a stagnant pool of energy inside of us. Just as energy flows to us when we rest, so does it clamor to flow from us, enlivening our interaction with the world.
But not all energy expenditure is created equal.
Certain energy expenditures are purely positive. Time with family because you love them dearly. Your regular meetup with a friend who reminds you of crucial parts of yourself. These expenditures align with your goals and values. They give you that precious feeling of being in the right place at the right time.
Other energy expenditures are not so wholly gratifying. Perhaps they’re in line with your goals and values, yet they still leave you frayed around the edges. You love your work but a dynamic with your boss has you on edge. You cherish your family, but the late night phone calls with your sister leave you groggy the next day.
And then there are the energy expenditures that are wholly depleting. A friendship that belittles you. A side gig that no longer feeds you. Energy expenditures such as these can be sneaky. They may not be the central activities in our lives. We may not think about them much at all! But they hum in the background, gradually draining our hard earned energy.
Great resters know how to pause and restore. But ninja level resters also notice their energy expenditures. And they consistently refine their choices. Making sure their energy is going where they most want it to go.